In long-term relationships, we often expect our beloved to be both best friend and erotic partner. But as Esther Perel argues, good <em>and</em> committed sex draws on two conflicting needs: our need for security and our need for surprise. So how do you sustain desire? With wit and eloquence, Perel lets us in on the mystery of erotic intelligence.
Sittin on a bench
Sometimes I feel like I come from a remote island, when I have to pull outa map and show people where Michigan is. “It’s the one with the lakes!” I exclaim but that type of information never really seems to settle.
The other time when people do know what place I’m talking about they are kind of puzzled that I’m not a farm or hood gal. “It’s the sprawl!” I tell them.
When I mention the hot humid summers usually I get, “Oh I thought it mostly snowed up there”
Just kind of funny is all, the things we end up innocently, helplessly, assuming!
In middle school…numma numma yay
Momentarily imagine a society that built its approach to racism on blood type instead of skin color.
Firstly this makes it blatantly obvious, if wasn’t already, as to why passing judgement on biological differences is idiotic.
“Oh you’re blood type A-…well ew”
Secondly if said society was reality doctors would be in control of segregation! Would there be separate hospitals?
Important Life Lesson
Whether this is obvious, a habit embedded into you naturally, or not, I shall state it for the pure fact of my excitement, and especially for those that it is not.
When you come across an author you really like- painter, photographer, chef, a band, etc- acknowledge it! Say to yourself, “I like this book so much, the author is one in a million…hey I should read another one” Yes of course read another one, look at more paintings, listen to more songs-okay so hear is the fact:
Once this interest of yours is verified recognize that this artist has a lifespan, meaning, they started creating at some point and it had developed up until to present day, or when they died, or when they stopped creating. Start at the beginning with them and watch them develop. See how things unintentionally, or perhaps intentionally, relate back. See how their minds are this whole other world, a world that you stumbled upon and found a love in, and get to its’ damn roots!
This rant was inspired by a moment I had this morning while reading IQ84. I made a connection between the relationship Tengo and Eri have (IQ84), to the relationship the narrator of Dance Dance Dance and…and…fuck I couldn’t remember her name! So I went looking through the Internet for my answer. I could picture the little girl I had spent the winter with but not her name and then I came across a personal blog that was posted about the book. A whole pot of information expanded before my very eyes (which is why book clubs are so rad but that’s a different train of thought all together). To get to the point I found this blog and she mentioned this mysterious character from Dancex3 and explained that this character can be understood if I read the book that came out right before this one…and then it got me thinking about all of stuff I mentioned above. This is like my fourth Murakami book, I like him obviously, but it wasn’t obvious to me that I should start at the beginning of his creative journey and work my way through his chain of creativity.
Honestly we can all do what we want, read everything backwards, or don’t think about any of this stuff I just said, but I do think its a pretty cool way to get the full feel of an artists’ collection of work as a whole.
Artist Name: Jolie Ngo
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